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Grief is a Journey

October 31st, 2013 · No Brilliant Opinions · Random Things That Make Me Smile

There is something I’ve always loved about Halloween.  As a child I usually had a mask, no costume, and loved going around the neighborhood with my brothers and sisters and getting loads of candy.  As a mom, Halloween marks the start of the holiday season for me.  Every year I get dressed up with my kids for an evening of fun.  This year my eldest wants to spend the evening with her friends, a sad transition for me as she begins to assert her own independence.  I tell folks I work hard all year just to make the magic happen for my family from Halloween up until New Years Day.

In June of this year, I lost my mom.  Perhaps “lost” is not a good word. It implies that I misplaced her or forgot her somewhere. My mother died at 79 years of age, after a long battle with heart disease.  She was my anchor, my counselor and my friend. I feel adrift, broken and overwhelmed by sadness.

I have only a few pictures with my mom – I was usually the one behind the camera.  In the picture above, she is 52 and I’m 21.   I had just finished college and Mom took us on vacation to her birthplace, Carriacou, Grenada.  Mom rented a beach front cottage in town for us.  I remember  having friends come over and just talking and laughing with her and telling us how lucky we were to have such a cool Mom.  Mom always had my back and although she only had a primary school education, she pushed me to always do my best.  Mom had a deep faith in God, a serious work ethic and a  raunchy sense of humor.  She loved to “pound torre” (what West Indians refer to as gossip), gamble at casinos and dance.  She wasn’t a perfect mother but she was good enough for me.


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